Zappagram #103: Chechens gotta cut loose...footloose! Kick off their Chechen shoes!

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Zappagram #103: Chechens gotta cut loose...footloose! Kick off their Chechen shoes!
Photo by Shinichiro Ichimura / Unsplash

Hey Zappagrammers,

Who’s attending Coachella? Not me. I’m staying home, reading ridiculous headlines, and using my own bathroom for which there is no waiting line.

Speaking of ridiculous headlines, this past week CNN published an article with a title too curious not to click.

Chechnya Bans All Music Deemed Too Fast or Too Slow.”

Seems that Chechnya has a real-life Footlose/Ren McCormack/Bomont, Oklahoma type situation on their hands. Minister of Culture Musa Dadayev announced the decision to limit all musical, vocal and choreographic compositions to a tempo ranging from 80 to 116 beats per minute.

This means that Chechens can still groove to the smooth sounds of “Africa” by Toto but no more “Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees, no more "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham!, and no more "Happy" by Pharrell Williams…well, that last one might not be such a bad thing to ban after all.

Sorry, Chechnya. No more fun for you.

This story came across my Instagram feed and the comments on the post are as hilarious as is the idea of banning music above or below a certain bpm.

“Need bpm range for my Chechen edition album please”

“Thank god somebody’s finally enforcing the vibe”

“Only the chorus of Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” survives”

“Can someone explain to me why the world is frantically trying to become so fucking boring”

Perhaps a new generation of Chechen rebels will rise up in response to this outright assault on fun, but rather than fighting with guns they just have dance-offs, fighting with sweet dance moves instead. I’d like to see that.

Back here in America, we’re not trying to ban music (yet)—only healthcare for women, rights for LGBTQIA+ people, gender-affirming care for trans people, immigration, those pesky books, oh and of course, the most evil evil of them all, TikTok.

I, personally, think we should channel all our energy into banning those little stringy bits on ripe bananas. Those are the worst and—mark my words—will be the ultimate downfall of society.

Enough psychobabble-laced insanity. Let’s get into it.

Ground control to reader: Take your protein pills. Put your helmet on.

This newsletter ain’t gonna read itself.

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.
—Frank Zappa


Spotify To Allow Users To Change Speed of and Remix Songs “While Generating New Revenue for Artists”
A report suggests users will be able to manipulate and modify existing tracks on the platform

The Roots Announce U.S. Tour With Arrested Development and Digable Planets
The Hip-Hop Is the Love of My Life Tour follows the inaugural Los Angeles edition of Roots Picnic, also featuring the three groups

The Wait Is Over: Billie Eilish Announces New Album ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’
The superstar's third record will arrive next month

Low’s Alan Sparhawk Promises Solo Album This Fall in New Yorker Interview
Sparhawk discussed the loss of Mimi Parker, his recent work in Derecho Rhythm Section, and his next musical chapter, in conversation with Justin Taylor

Inside Jimmy Buffett’s Tribute Concert: McCartney, Margaritas, and One Hell of a Parrothead Party
Sir Paul, the Eagles, Snoop Dogg and more come together to honor the musical legend at the Hollywood Bowl

Taylor Swift’s Music Returns to TikTok, Despite App’s Ongoing Dispute with UMG
Swift's songs return to the platform a week before she's set to release her album The Tortured Poets Department

The Beach Boys Catch a Wave While Navigating Harmony and Discord in New Doc Trailer
The Disney+ film will feature new interviews with the surviving band members, as well as a plethora of archival footage

Keith LeBlanc, Drummer on Grandmaster Flash and Sugarhill Gang Songs, Dies at 69
The Tackhead and Little Axe member also drummed on songs for Nine Inch Nails, Tina Turner, and R.E.M.

New York Hip-Hop Icon DJ Mister Cee Dead at 57
The longtime Hot 97 DJ was Big Daddy Kane’s first DJ and helped break the late Notorious B.I.G.

Clarence ‘Frogman’ Henry, New Orleans Favorite Who Croaked His Hit ‘Ain’t Got No Home,’ Dead at 87
The musician also recorded a successful version of "(I Don’t Know Why) But I Do" and toured with the Beatles


The Kills performed on KEXP back in February but the video was just released and, well, here ya go. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Alison or Jamie sitting down. I’ve also never seen an acoustis performance from them. I didn’t know they did that. Anyway, their performance here is great despite the sitting down playing acoustic thing. I much prefer the second video though—live at the House of Strombo. It’s way more electric/kickass.


Eagles: To The Limit - The Essential Collection
Maggie Rogers: Don’t Forget Me
Mark Knopfler: One Deep River
Nia Archives: Silence Is Loud
The Ballroom Thieves: Sundust


- APR 19 -

Bruce Springsteen: Best of Bruce Springsteen (Expanded Edition)
Hozier: Wasteland, Baby! (Vinyl Reissue)
The Melvins: Tarantula Heart
Pearl Jam: Dark Matter
Pink Floyd: The Dark Side Of The Moon (Remastered Collector’s Edition)
Taylor Swift: The Tortured Poets Department

- APR 20 -

Record Store Day 2024!

- APR 26 -

Iron & Wine: Light Verse
Justice: Hyperdrama
Laufey: Bewitched: The Goddess Edition
Neil Young & Crazy Horse: Fu##in’ Up
Pet Shop Boys: Nonetheless
St. Vincent: All Born Screaming

- MAY 3 -

Better Than Ezra: Super Magick
The Lemon Twigs: A Dream Is All We Know
Mdou Moctar: Funeral for Justice

- MAY 10 -

Dehd: Poetry
Incubus: Morning View XXIII
Keane: Hopes and Fears (20th Anniversary Edition)
Kings of Leon: Can We Please Have Fun
Victoria Bigelow: Songs For No One Vol. 2 EP


- APR 15 -

Birthdays: Bessie Smith (1894) • Dave Edmunds (1944) • Composer Michael Kamen (1948) • Linda Perry of 4 Non Blondes (1965) • Ed O'Brien of Radiohead (1968) • Country/bluegrass musician Chris Stapleton (1978) • Patrick Carney of The Black Keys (1980) • Joey Ramone died at the age of 49 after a long battle with lymphatic cancer. (2001)

- APR 16 -

Birthdays: Henry Mancini (1924) • Dusty Springfield (1939) • Gerry Rafferty (1947) • Peter Garrett of Midnight Oil (1953) • Paul Buchanan of The Blue Nile (1956) • Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum (1964) • Sean Cook of Spiritualized (1969) • Selena (1971) • Chance the Rapper (1993) • Elektra Records dropped Detroit's MC5 from their label after the band took out an advertisement in a local paper that included the company logo and said; 'Fuck Hudsons.' The band were protesting at the Michigan department store's refusal to stock their albums. (1969) • David Lee Roth was arrested in New York's Washington Square Park for allegedly buying a $10 bag of marijuana. (1993)

- APR 17 -

Birthdays: Roy Estrada, bassist with Frank Zappa and a founder member of Little Feat (1943) • Jan Hammer (1948) • Michael Sembello (1954) • Pete Shelley of Buzzcocks (1955) • Maynard James Keenan (1964) • Liz Phair (1967) • Drummer Matt Chamberlain (1967) • Redman (1970) • Morrissey walked off stage during his set at the Coachella festival in California after declaring he could 'smell burning flesh'. The committed vegetarian took offence to the smell coming from nearby barbecues. (2009)

- APR 18 -

Birthdays: Producer Paul Rothchild (1935) • Drummer Clyde Stubblefield (1943) • Greg Eklund, drummer for Everclear (1970) • Storm Thorgerson, whose album cover artwork includes Pink Floyd's The Dark Side Of The Moon died aged 69. (2013) • Public Enemy became the fourth hip-hop act inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (the others that preceded Public Enemy were Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five, Run-DMC, and the Beastie Boys). Other 2013 inductees are Rush, Heart, Albert King, Donna Summer, and Randy Newman. (2013)

- APR 19 -

Birthdays: Producer/engineer Eddie Kramer (1942) • Bernie Worrell, American keyboardist and composer best known as a founding member of Parliament-Funkadelic and for his work with Talking Heads (1944) • Tim Curry (1946) • "Suge" Knight (1966) • Drummer, singer and multi-instrumentalist, Levon Helm, died of cancer aged 71. (2012) • Producer/songwriter Jim Steinman, most famous for his work on Meat Loaf's best-selling Bat Out Of Hell album, died at the age of 73. (2021)

- APR 20 -

Birthdays: Luther Vandross (1951) • Mikey Welsh, bassist of Weezer (1971) • Stephen Marley from Ziggy Marley & The Melody Makers (1972) • Five friends at San Rafael High School in California coined the term "4:20" as a euphemism for smoking pot. April 20th became a popular day to spark one up, as does 4:20pm. Fans of the Grateful Dead helped spread the phrase, the Boston song 'Smokin'' clocks in at 4 minutes, 20 seconds, and if you multiply the title numbers in Bob Dylan's 'Rainy Day Women #12 And #35,' you get 420. (1971)

- APR 21 -

Birthdays: James Osterberg (a.k.a. Iggy Pop) (1947) • Paul Davis (1948) • Robert Smith (1959) • Michael Timmins, guitarist of Cowboy Junkies (1959) • John Maher, drummer of Buzzcocks (1960) • Lonnie Mack died. (2016) • Prince was found dead at his Paisley Park estate in Minnesota. He was 57 years old. (2016)

Until next week, Zappagrammers…peace and love to all. 🤘🏻🖤